I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
