sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
