But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
she looked like the before picture.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
