ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize