Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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