i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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