I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
