i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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