Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
