their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
God, you're like boner-b-gone
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
