Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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