oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
im holly from the hills drunk
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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