Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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