Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize