Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
