We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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