super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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