yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My vagina is very pro this idea
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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