I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
