she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
