DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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