honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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