YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
