By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
