i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
