i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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