We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
