you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize