he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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