Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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