did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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