Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
