one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
