I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
