I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
