so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
