Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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