Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize