from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
