So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
