Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I will pee on everything he values.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
