You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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