I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
