i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize