I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
