Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
