That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
