I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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