My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
