Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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