She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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