She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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