Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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