is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
