but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
