It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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