She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
organizing the empties. That sober.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
