Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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